Anorak News | Celebrity Spares

Celebrity Spares

by | 4th, January 2005

‘THIS year’s TV promises to be nothing like last year’s or indeed that of any year that has ever gone before.


A year back, who would have thought that Kenzie from Blazin’ Squad would be in the frame to be a face on Celebrity Big Brother?

Back in 2004, we thought that below the celebrity Z-list there existed nothing but a void, a showbiz dead zone into which only Timmy Mallett has ever dared to venture.

But then some brave TV executive looked down into the hole and saw that there was a life of sorts in the deepest reaches of the agents’ black books. And it was named Kenzie.

So he/she/it is to be to one of the new celebrity faces of 2005.

And for we who witnessed the New Year’s Day cull – when hunting folk chased down and ruthlessly slaughtered Katonas, Turners and Leslies – this new blood must be celebrated.

And the news is encouraging. Already, Holly Valance, Victoria Silvstedt and Lee Chapman have all been cast aside from the Big Brother melting pot.

The reasons given for their absences from the show range from a desire to be a Hollywood star (Valance), the money not being quite right (Chapman) and the producers’ reluctance to allow Victoria Silvstedt to enter the house equipped with a vibrating sex aid.

The realty might be something more macabre. But while anti-hunt protestors slap “missing” posters of said celebrities on country trees, many others will rejoice as the field is cleared.

Sure, in years to come this fresh blood will be ritually hounded to the termination of their celebrity contracts (and look out for next year’s televised cull!), but the risks are outweighed by the rewards fame brings.

Like photo spreads in OK! magazine, an addiction to a class A drug, a night with Jodie Marsh, a presenting job on QVC, panto in Bridlington…’

Posted: 4th, January 2005 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink