Anorak News | The Brain Drain

The Brain Drain

by | 12th, January 2005

”’I’M on the rocking horse…”

”How about we just talk to each other?”

So says precocious little Jake as he talks to his pal Armani on the cutting-edge mobile phone handset his doting parents bought him for Christmas.

Mum and Dad’s thinking is that, so long as their little soldier has a phone, he’ll continue talking to them.

He’ll tell them ”Pick me up at four after detention”, ”I’m alive and have not been abducted” and ”I do love you, mummy – so long as you buy me the latest ringtone”.

No sulky silences in the Bratt household as junior is always within reach.

But the Times says that Ma and Pa might be killing their ray of light with kindness.

A picture on the paper’s cover shows what appears to be an acoustic red tumour pulsing away within a smallish head.

We are not told whether this growth is the product of Jake using his mobile too much, just that it is a tumour and such a thing might occur if youngsters use mobiles.

Professor Sir William Stewart, chairman of the National Radiology Protection Board, has looked at the dangers and concluded that young people might be at risk from using mobile phones.

It might soon be that our dear Jake stops talking to his mum and dad, preferring to send them a non-tumour-making text saying how much he ”8s m” for ruining his life.

But while Sir William says that youngsters and mobile phones might not be the best recipe for good health, he reminds the world at large that it’s up to parents if they want their children to use them.

This wise advice, however, does not prevent the Telegraph leading with the headline: ”Don’t Allow Under-9s To Use A Mobile.”

The paper concludes not that the phones are hazardous to soft heads and young minds but that it cannot be proven that they are not.

Meanwhile Mike Dolan of the Mobile Operators’ Association says: ”The key point in the radiation protection board advice is that there is no hard evidence linking the use of mobile technology with adverse health effects.”

So carry on chatting, kids. And if your brain starts to leak out your ears, try to dial 999 on your mobile – or, better yet, just scream for help…’

Posted: 12th, January 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink