Anorak News | Hair Trigger

Hair Trigger

by | 12th, January 2005

‘IF Tony Blair ever pays a visit to North Korea, he’d do well first to read today’s Guardian and then consult his team of hair stylists.

Tony Blair

Over in one of the points on that infamous ”axis of evil”, ”dear leader” Kim Jong-il frowns on the bouffant hair-do.

Sure, he has one atop his own head, but he is the supreme being and is allowed to do pretty much what he wants whenever he wants.

For the rest of mankind, piling your hair into an airy sweep is forbidden.

So, North Korean state television is broadcasting programmes instructing men to keep their hair short and neat.

The five-part series, entitled Let’s Trim Our Hair In Accordance With The Socialist Lifestyle (and soon to be adapted for the BBC), urges viewers to opt for one of the official haircuts.

These crops include the crew cut and what are termed the ”high, middle and low styles”. Hair should be between 1cm and 5cm in length and trimmed every 15 days.

The thinking is that long hair is unhealthy and is detrimental to ”human intelligence development”. Long hair ”consumes a great deal of nutrition”, thereby robbing the body of brain energy.

To emphasise this, a camera crew were deployed to find offenders and challenge them in the street. The names and addresses of wrongdoers were given as a warning to all.

So, Tony Blair of No.10 Downing Street, London, you have been warned. Your hair must be cut – or else it’s war…’

Posted: 12th, January 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink