Anorak News | Body Work

Body Work

by | 12th, January 2005

‘HOW do you get a sexy celebrity body like Jennifer Ellison or Kelly Brook?

Mrs Beryl Greenacre, 63, of Oldham

One way is to spend a few hours rifling through the bins of a Hollywood plastic surgeon.

Another is to book an appointment for colonic irrigation after Jade Goody – and turn the dial from ‘suck’ to ‘blow’.

And yet another is to buy a copy of this week’s OK!

You’re sure to shed two pounds, that being the cover price of this esteemed organ – and that’s before you’ve even looked at its five-page guide to bodies beautiful.

”From cracking curves to trim tummies,” it says, ”the world’s sexiest stars reveal all about their superstar bods.”

So, if you look in the mirror and don’t see Angelina Jolie staring back at you, here’s what to do.

You can do as Britney Spears does as spend £4,500 a week on personal training sessions with Bobby Strum.

You can do as Jordan has done and have enough silicon pumped into your chest to run every computer in the world.

Or you can follow Sienna Miller’s lead and use body make-up.

”They spray you all over with foundation so they get rid of every little lump and bump,” she explains, ”and then highlight you with a bit of shimmer to make your boobs look bigger and your bum look better.”

The only problem, however, is ”it does take four hours”.

And that’s to do Sienna’s body. The mind boggles at how long it would take to spray the whole of an average OK! reader’s body…’

Posted: 12th, January 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink