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Blood Sucker

by | 17th, January 2005

‘IS there any connection between Michael Howard’s inability to turn round the Tory party’s fortunes and stories of a vampire on the loose in Birmingham?

Putting the bite on voters

What better way is there for someone memorably described as having “something of the night” about him to take out his frustrations with a bit of bloodsucking?

According to the Guardian, stories about a man stalking the streets of Ward End and sinking his teeth into passers-by began to emerge last month.

Since then, several people claim to have been bitten by this man, although the police insist that no victim has been forthcoming.

“This appears to be an urban myth,” a police spokesman says.

However, residents are not so sure after the local media was inundated with calls from people who knew people who knew people who had been attacked.

“All I’ve heard as that there’s a fellow going round attacking people like a dog and biting them,” says barmaid Josephine McNally. “It does put the wind up you.”

“I heard the story in the barber’s the other day,” said Roman Catholic priest Father Anthony Rohan. “They asked me if I believed in vampires and I said no. Then the lollipop lady mentioned it to me as well.

“I’m not worried, though. I’ve got a lot of crucifixes in the house.”

Not much good against a 62-year-old Jewish vampire, though, are they?’



Posted: 17th, January 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink