Anorak News | Mullah Flight

Mullah Flight

by | 18th, January 2005

‘FROM Prince Harry in his Nazi regalia, the papers today move onto a new obsession – Islamic cleric Omar Bakri Mohammed, or the “mad mullah” to give him his dues.

”Everyone round my way thinks I look like Ricky Villa”

The offence which earns him the Express’s front-page splash (“THIS MAN IS POISON”) is to have urged British Muslims to join al-Qaeda and fight a Holy War against, well, everyone else.

This is extreme stuff, and bad enough for the Sun to use its “Sun Says” editorial in its own front-page story on the bearded rabble rouser.

In its shocking revelation that the Internet is not just about soap stars accessing porn, the paper (“SEND HIM BAKRI”) says that the Syrian-born extremist has been using the web to spread hatred.

For the past month, he has been broadcasting nightly on the net. And after his hour-and-half polemic, he invites his audience to write in and ask questions in a web chat.

We don’t see any of the questions, but they may be things like “How do you set up a webcam?”, “What’s your favourite position?” and “Are you Leslie Grantham?”

Other letters might ask him why it is that he has not joined the fight.

If only he could but, what with his injured leg – a disability for which, as the Express tells us in “WHAT HE GETS IN BENEFITS”, he receives £50 a week – his less-then-perfect eyesight and his long toenails, he can’t go anywhere.

And the Sun hears that this above all is what upsets him. He’d love to run with the boys in the desert sands, perhaps even pausing to blow himself up in crowded market, but he can’t.

And even if he could, he still can’t because, as he tells the Sun, “I’m really stuck – I’m in the middle”.

If that true, we’d hate to see who’s on the Right? But he wants to explain. “I want to quit Britain – but I cannot leave,” says he.

Why so? Because your mission to build a Muslim empire in Edmonton is not yet complete? Because you are being held prisoner? Because you’ve signed up as a mystery guest on Celebrity Big Brother?

Perhaps all of the above, but the given answer is: “I’ve been planning to leave this country but I haven’t succeeded because I don’t have papers or anywhere else to go. I don’t have the proper documents.”

However, the Sun has called the Home Office and learnt that there is no reason why Bakri cannot move abroad.

And if he wasn’t washing his beard tomorrow, he’d go straight away…’

Posted: 18th, January 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink