Anorak News | Not Finished Yet

Not Finished Yet

by | 19th, January 2005

‘KERRY Katona is a survivor. We know this because the Mirror’s dire 3am girls have just heard her singing a karaoke version of ‘I Will Survive’.

”Und ven did you begin to have zees dreamz about being talented?”

It’s a song that the Mirror’s self-styled entertainment specialists want us to believe is entirely suited to Kerry’s condition.

Only, it is not. Yes, her husband, the cheating Brian McPadding, left her. Yes, she told us how when he was first gone she was so petrified she spent “ten says in the Priory, for f**k sake”. And yes, she spent many nights knowing how he did her wrong.

But he’s not come back. Kerry had no more need to change the stupid locks than she did to up sticks and take herself and her children to live in Warrington.

However, even that might not be far enough away from the former Westlife makeweight who we learn is trying to win custody of the children, Molly and Lilly, in a bitter battle.

“Brian has only just decided he is going to go after custody,” says an unnamed source, strongly rumoured to be the bouncer keeping those 3am girls standing in the cold outside Warrington’s Chicago Rock Café.

“He has caused Kerry enough pain already but fighting over the kids will send her over the edge.”

However, Kerry is made of stronger stuff than, say, that other celebrity Chris Parker, aka EastEnders Spencer Moon, who’s busy telling the Sun how he tried to take his own life in a hotel room in a scene that resembled a “slaughterhouse”.

And while the 3am Girls are waiting for Kerry to emerge from her impromptu sing-along in one of the Cheshire town’s “hotspots”, the Star sees the “telly star” slip out the back door and head to Austria.

No, she’s not off in search of some psychiatric help at a Viennese clinic, but to spend two weeks at a finishing school.

After her crash-course in etiquette, Kerry will be fit to appear in an ITV make-over show called My Fair Kerry.

“This is a new year and a new start for me,” says Kerry. “I admit my table manners and Ps and Qs aren’t up to scratch and that I burp in public.”

Nice to know, your Ladyship. But save the revelations for the divorce hearing, please…’

Posted: 19th, January 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink