Blue Monday

‘IF today is reckoned to be the most miserable day of the year, then tomorrow is unlikely to be far behind as blizzards make their way over the Atlantic from New York.

”Om”

The Big Apple came to a virtual standstill over the weekend after three feet of snow fell in Central Park.

And forecasters are warning that we are in for 72 hours of misery as gale force winds and icy temperatures make their way over here.

”While nothing like the conditions in the US,” the Met Office’s Nigel Bolton tells the Mail, ”we are expecting snow showers moving southwards across eastern parts of the country.”

So what to do to relieve the misery as you crawl to work over icy roads?

The answer is…yoga. RAC executive director Edmund King tells the Star: ”Spending 10 to 15 minutes a day in quiet contemplation or meditation when driving to work can increase energy levels, result in greater creativity, higher sexual potency and the willingness to strive to meet challenges.”

One such challenge may be digging you car out of a snowdrift as you try to negotiate a hairpin bend in a catatonic state.

But what of the higher sexual potency? Useful if you work as a hooker, perhaps, but perhaps a bit dangerous for, say, an accounts clerk or a telesales operative.

However, with midwinter blues at their height today, the Star says bosses are being urged to give their staff a long lunch and free drinks to help them cope.

”Today,” says Totaljobs.com marketing director Michael Robinson, ”provides the ideal opportunity for employers to acknowledge the hard work that employees put into a company throughout the year.”

And the perfect opportunity for the employees to demonstrate to each other their increased sexual potency…’

Posted: 24th, January 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink