Tea Time

‘YOU might well be a charmless villain and a stain on society, but even you have standards. And that means taking Tiffin at 4 o’clock.

”More tea, Nutter?”

Sure, you may have replaced the Jammy Dodgers with spliffs made from dried bananas rolled within sheets of Bible paper in your godless, thieving hands, but you can’t beat the civilising effects of a nice cuppa.

And even better if you can get your hands on the herbal stuff, which, the Times reports, is bringing peace and harmony to Britain’s overcrowded jails.

Women prisoners in Downview jail, Surrey, have been discovering that a cup of Tranquillity (a blend of limeflowers, hawthorn berries, yarrow and fennel) can ease tension.

And a warming brew of Valerian Plus (a mix of limeflowers, valerian root, hops, passion flowers and fennel) can aid sleep to such a degree that many inmates have exchanged their night-time sedatives for such a drink.

This tea-for-downers scheme is also being used at High Down men’s jail, Surrey, and Lewes jail, Sussex, and the effects have been universally positive.

”We are doing very well with them [teas],” says spokesman for the prison service.

”They are being introduced into more prisons and proving a good alternative to sedatives and other prescription drugs which can become addictive.”

The message is clear, and it’s one that the makers of Dr Stuart’s Botanical Teas, those purveyors of calming beverages to Her Majesty’s prison service, encapsulate perfectly in their company slogan.

”There’s a better you inside…”’

Posted: 26th, January 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink