Anorak News | Shopping For Genes

Shopping For Genes

by | 27th, January 2005

‘IF you’re still carrying those Christmas pounds and look worryingly like the love child of heavy-boned TV presenter Vanessa Feltz and a Blue Whale, fret not.

Hands up who’s got a body like Charlize Theron

Help is, as always, at hand as this week OK! offers its readers advice on how to get an amazing body – fast!

And not just any old body but one like Oscar-winning actress Charlize Theron, Emmy-winning actress Jennifer Aniston or Hell’s Kitchen-winning actress Jennifer Ellison.

So, what’s their secret? What do these three stars have in common?

The answer, we can exclusively reveal, is…good genes.

So, if you want to look like Charlize or either of the Jens – or even Beyonce Knowles, Jessica Simpson or Tina O’Brien for that matter – then the solution is simple.

You need to change your parents and rebuild yourself out of better bloodstock.

Forget all the nonsense about diets – if you’ve got no breeding, it doesn’t matter whether you follow the Zone Diet (like Jen A), the Substitution Diet (like Jen E) or the Low-Cal Diet (like Charlize).

Forget all about exercise – you can spend all day on the treadmill but, if you’ve got bad genes, you’ll still look like something Rebecca Loos dragged in.

No, these days it’s all about genetics – so, if you look like Lisa Riley in a fat suit, there’s only one thing you can do about it.

Lump it.’

Posted: 27th, January 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink