Anorak News | Booze ‘N’ Twos

Booze ‘N’ Twos

by | 31st, January 2005

‘FLEET Street’s finest may not longer enjoy the famed boozy lunches of yesteryear, but when it comes to writing a story on pissed-up Britain they jump at the chance.

She’s got some bottle has Jodie

No day seems to pass without hacks leaving their safe and soulless corporate offices to go out into the mean street of some provincial British town to see drunken yobs at first hand.

But today the Mirror ups the ante and sends out a gang of three appalled, shocked and disgusted hacks to see how awful drinking can really be.

So, brace yourself for “A NIGHT OUT IN YOB BRITAIN”.

“Young thugs brawl in the street, glasses are hurled at cowering doormen while stag night revellers vomit nearby,” begins this in-depth investigation that will stun the world.

The article then takes us from 9:30pm in the city of Newcastle up to 2:15am, making mention of a man too drunk to walk, a man sitting in his own vomit, a scuffle in a queue, loud music and a man behaving aggressively.

Anyone shocked by this – and how can you not be? – can pluck up the courage to read it all over again when the yob and yobettes decamp to Faliraki or some other Mediterranean sun spot for more of the same this summer.

But before the yobs and reporters book their flights, the drunken masses might like to divert their bleary, bloodshot eyes to the Sun where the paper has been out on the tiles in St Albans, Hertfordshire.

There, “glamour girl” Jodie Marsh is feeling the effects of too much alcohol as she nurses a bump on her head caused when a man threw his bottle of beer at her.

Jodie had been making a public appearance at the town’s Batchwood Hall when the drinks began to fly in her direction.

“The bottles came from nowhere,” says Jodie, now recovered from her ordeal.

“As one struck me I felt my knees go and I went dizzy… There was no blood or need for stitches but it could have been much worse.”

Yes, it could of – an undercover reporter could have been sick on you or your shoes…’

Posted: 31st, January 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink