Anorak News | Pigging Out

Pigging Out

by | 31st, January 2005

‘IT is clear that standards in society are slipping, and who better to stop the rot than the Sun, that bastion of decorum and modesty in a G-string?

”Now, don’t you go making a pig of yourself, luv”

And the paper is today celebrating its coup by exposing the police as guilty of holding double standards.

Now, now, calm yourselves. We know this is a far-fetched thing to believe, a difficult concept to take in on a Monday, but stick with it.

Following last week’s news in which Sarah McCaffrey was fined £60 for driving while holding an apple in one hand, the paper set up a sting.

A reporter went to Newcastle-upon-Tyne, the home of the police force that nicked Sara, and, standing by a set of traffic lights, armed himself with a tray of doughnuts and a board advertising the treats for free.

Soon enough a car from the Northumbria Force pulled up alongside – stopped by the red lights – and beckoned the Sun’s man over.

The coppers inside the vehicle took one doughnut each, but before they could confiscate the entire tray for questioning, the lights changed to green.

And that saw the driver accelerate off, doughnut in one hand and wheel in the other.

And while that hungry copper loses sleep, the Sun reports on Chris Phillips, a concerned citizen, who has reported a woman cop he saw reversing her marked van out of the police compound at Pontypridd, South Wales.

“This WMPC had the apple in her mouth as she reversed. As she drove away she took it out of her mouth with her left hand and changed gear at the same time,” says Phillips.

“If they’re having a go the ordinary motorist for eating an apple at the wheel, why should a police officer get away with it?”

We can think of no good answer. Indeed, it’s hard to think of much at all when you’re having an apple forcibly stuffed into your mouth by a large black boot…’

Posted: 31st, January 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink