Anorak News | Doodle Bugger

Doodle Bugger

by | 31st, January 2005

‘IF you (like the rest of the country) were woken this morning by the sound of distressed quacks, you might have thought that a duck hunt had stumbled through your bedroom.

Tony misses Peter Mandleson something terrible

But a glance at the day’s papers will quickly reassure you that it was nothing more serious than the nation’s graphologists getting in a bit of a flap.

They have just spent the past three days passing judgement on the mental state of our Prime Minister based on some casual doodles rescued from the World Economic Forum in the Swiss resort of Davos.

Eileen Quigley told the Mirror that the jottings were evidence of a man “struggling to concentrate” and a “mind … going everywhere”.

“That’s Teflon Tony,” she told the paper’s few remaining readers. “The most readable of his doodles are the points that he believes will catch the public interest.”

The Times’ expert thought the doodles revealed “an aggressive, unstable man who is feeling under enormous pressure”.

And the Independent’s verdict was that they were the work of someone who was “not a natural leader”.

All of which is very interesting – had the doodles actually been the work of Our Beloved Leader.

However, the Telegraph says Downing Street yesterday revealed that the aggressive, distracted incompetent analysed by the experts was not Mr Blair but a certain Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft and the most successful businessman of modern times.

“We look forward with amusement,” it said, “to explanations by a variety of psychologists and graphologists of how various characteristics ascribed to the PM … equally apply to Mr Gates.”

It added that it was “astonished” that no-one had thought to call No.10 to check whether the doodles were in fact Mr Blair’s – “particularly as it was obvious to anyone that the handwriting was different”.

Not as astonished as Mrs Quigley was to discover that Teflon Tony had once again emerged unscathed.

“I find it very strange that it was by Mr Gates as it does not seem the sort of thing he would do,” she said.

And with that she went back to her day job – trying to turn base metal into gold…’

Posted: 31st, January 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink