Timber!

‘HOLLYWOOD’S very own Pinocchio, Ben Affleck, is saying how he wants strings.

”Can I call you Jennifer?”

”Ben envies all his buddies with ordinary 9-to-5 jobs and kids,” says an unnamed source in the Enquirer. ”But he’ll do it at his own pace.”

And for rooted Ben that means slowly does it. Why, even though he’s managed to move on from Jennifer Lopez, he’s only managed to go as far as Jennifer Garner.

Prudent Ben may well have a desire to make use of the ”BJ” napkins and ”BENNIFER” wedding cake left over from his called-off marriage to La Lopez, but will his new squeeze appreciate his planning?

And what with this being slow-moving Ben, we don’t have to wander too far to find out what his lover thinks, since Jen II lives in the same Brentwood neighbourhood as our man.

Although marriage is not yet on the cards and the lovers have no plans to move into together, they live so close to one another that it seems unnecessary to take things any further.

To illustrate their closeness, the Enquirer publishes a graphic of their Californian locale which shows that all Ben has to do to reach Jen’s house is to leave his home and negotiate a path between Vincente Foods, Jamba Juice and a Starbucks Coffee shop.

All easy enough.

Although if Ben’s looking for more of a challenging route, he could go straight past the saw mill, left at the home for incontinent dogs and right at the squirrels…’

Posted: 7th, February 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink