Anorak News | Heir On A Shoestring

Heir On A Shoestring

by | 8th, February 2005

‘IF the odds against winning the lottery are about 14,000,000-1, then the odds against winning the lottery every year must contain more noughts than Prince Harry’s A-level marks.

Paris wants to be occupied by a Nazi

But that is the equivalent of what Prince Charles does – according to one of the MPs investigating the £11.9m profit his Duchy of Cornwall estate made last year.

”That is an incomprehensible sum to my constituents,” Alan Williams, Labour MP for Swansea West, complained.

It was, he said, the equivalent of the take-home pay of 450 people – appropriate, as that is about the number of servants on Prince Charles’s payroll.

Other MPs on the Commons Public Accounts Committee accused Royal accountants of ”jiggery pokery” and ”fiddling” after revelations that the Duchy’s profits had risen by 300% over the past decade.

The Mail explains that the Duchy is exempt from corporation tax and capital gains, although the Prince does voluntarily pay income tax at 40%.

However, if MPs act to close down the tax loophole, Charles need not look far for the means to keep his toothbrush loaded with toothpaste in his old age.

For the Star says son Harry has been invited to be the date of everyone’s favourite hotel heiress Paris Hilton at her 24th birthday bash.

”Paris has always dreamed of becoming a princess,” an insider says, ”and like many other girls always had a huge crush on Prince William.

”But lately she’s decided that Harry is the one for her. He’s wild, cheeky and got such a glint in his eye. Plus he loves to party.

”She wrote him personally and offered to fly him to the bash, but he said he’d have to check with his dad and she hasn’t heard back.”

Poor Paris! The Star says she’s becoming resigned to the fact that her prince won’t be there – and is having to audition other potential co-stars for her birthday video.

But they won’t be a patch on her swastika-wearing prince – if history teaches us anything it’s that a man wearing a Nazi uniform can always take Paris without a struggle…’

Posted: 8th, February 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink