Anorak News | Same Old Thong

Same Old Thong

by | 11th, February 2005

‘THE first thing the tabloids were taught when they were young was never to go out without knickers.

”Now do it this time with meaning!”

And it’s a lesson they learnt well. Check carefully and you will find that they are always careful to carry at least one underwear story every day.

Sexy is best, of course, but if you can’t manage that, then you can always make do with comical, or, if the worst comes to the worst, downright disgusting.

The Sun covers all three bases today, with the story of the ”DIRTY DOCTOR’S GHASTLY PANTS”.

It might not be quite as good as GHASTLY DOCTOR’S DIRTY PANTS, but it’s got legs – literally.

The story involves a woman who claims to have been the sex partner of Dr Christopher Gillen, who denies professional misconduct.

But from the Sun’s version of events, the anonymous woman appears to be more concerned by the fact that the good doctor’s Aertex underpants had long legs and were full of holes.

Elsewhere in the paper, there’s another story focusing on the negative side of nether garments: ”TOM: I SAY KNICKERS TO PANTY-CHUCKERS”.

Yes, that’s right, Tom Jones has finally had enough of being buried alive every night under a pile of tacky thongs.

But why? Have the health and safety people warned him of the dangers of inflammable fabrics under hot stage lights? Has The People’s Friend magazine campaigned to persuade its octogenarian readers to desist from pelting old Tom with their lace-trimmed incontinence pants?

No – it appears to be something even more depressing. Jones feels that the gesture has ”lost all its meaning”.

If this is true – and we’ve no reason to doubt the word of an expert – then this modest snippet could turn out to be the most significant media story of modern times.

Once faith is lost, there’s no regaining it. Could this be the end of tabloid journalism as we know it?’

Posted: 11th, February 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink