Anorak News | Love Is…

Love Is…

by | 11th, February 2005

‘VALENTINE’S Day is fast approaching and, if you’re anything like us, you’re probably wondering what to get that special someone in your life.

Before and after

Flowers, chocolates, a slap-up meal at the local Berni Inn, a boob job – they’re all well and good, but this year why not show her just what she means to you?

A mere 45 English pounds will buy you what is, in the opinion of no less an authority than OK! magazine, “the ideal Valentine’s present for a loved one”.

A diamond ring, a night with Brad Pitt, Charlize Theron’s bottom…all pale into insignificance beside this.

For not only will your beloved receive a half-yearly subscription to the magazine that puts the sick into sycophancy but a box of Baci chocolates to boot. Or even to eat.

And before you can say “Cadbury’s Snowflake”, your very own Anthea Turner could be feasting on free chocolate and admiring Jade Goody’s new body.

Regular readers will have realised that it is now exactly four weeks since Jade was last in OK! showing off her new body – and that means…she has another new body to show off.

Apparently, Jade has recently had new boobs fitted, although thankfully we’ll have to take her word for it because she keeps them covered up throughout the photoshoot.

(OK! proprietor Richard Desmond would no more publish a picture of a pair of naked breasts than he would, say, goosestep around a room calling all Germans Nazis.)

Or we can take Ryan Amoo’s word for it. As befits a D-list celebrity, Jade has picked up the perfect D-list accessory – a footballer boyfriend.

And not just any footballer, but a footballer for Northampton Town. The Cobbler, no less. Currently riding high in eighth position in the old Division Four.

But OK! is impressed.

“With her sensible diet and exercise regime and her new boobs,” it says, “Jade is looking more glam by the day. Ryan Amoo has certainly scored…”

…in his own net.’

Posted: 11th, February 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink