Anorak News | Back In The Saddle

Back In The Saddle

by | 15th, February 2005

‘IT’S time to shut the casket lid on the past, wheel it up the M1 and bury it on a small isolated island to the strains of Elton John’s Greatest Hits.

Odds on it goes the distance

Let us move on and dare to look forward to the wedding of one Charles Windsor and his beloved fiancée, Camilla Parker Bowles.

In readiness for the couple’s first night of matrimony, the Mail publishes “Camilla Confidential”, a continuation of the paper’s “provocative series” on just what links the heir to the throne and his mistress.

And in a word it is “passion”. We do not want to go into details, but just know how the headline to this piece runs: “Red-blooded. Athletic. Sexual. No wonder Charles preferred Camilla to the neurotic and bulimic Diana.”

It’s clear you cannot judge a woman by appearance alone. And while men of a certain age look anew on Camilla’s fetlocks and withers, the Sun gets wind of another wedding.

Coronation Street’s Deirdre, the siren of the soaps will marry her Ken on…April 8 – the same date as Charles and Camilla’s big day!

Which prompts the Sun to compare the two dos. It hangs up Camilla’s long evening gown of a wedding outfit alongside Deirdre’s Dorothy Perkins’s creation.

The paper appraises the Queen Mother’s £500,000 engagement ring that now sits on Camilla’s finger and then squints at Deirdre’s H Samuel’s sparkler.

Leaving us to look forward to those honeymoon videos of Deirdre and Ken asleep in matching Peter Storm all-weather pyjamas while Charles and Camilla enact a passable impression of Lester Piggott riding his mount to victory in the 1983 Epsom Derby…’

Posted: 15th, February 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink