Anorak News | The Anorak Cup

The Anorak Cup

by | 15th, February 2005

‘YESTERDAY saw the 158th and possibly the final running of the Waterloo Cup, the jewel in the crown of the hare coursing calendar.

”You’re it!”

At the weekend it will fall victim to the Government’s ban on hunting and so deprive all of us here at Anorak Towers of our annual day out in the country.

For those of our readers who have never experienced the thrill of standing in a muddy field on a cold February morning watching two dogs chase a hare, this morning’s papers are happy to fill you in on what you’ve been missing.

A group of people called flankers beat the hare from the undergrowth before the slipper releases two greyhounds (with names, says the Times, like Rocking Romeo and Neuno Trapper) who compete to catch the prey.

This goes on for three days – in front of a crowd of about 10,000 people – until one dog is crowned the winner.

Thrilling spectacle it may be, but we suspect the papers are attracted by the prospect of one bloodsport that is not banned in the new Hunting Act – the pros v the antis (or the snobs v the yobs, as the Guardian has it).

And we are happy to report that this is also one sport that is thriving.

“This year’s ritual exchanges,” says the Guardian, “were, it was widely agreed, some of the fruitiest, least class-ridden and most brutal in years, both sides firing salvos across a hedge next to the snobs’ car park.”

A snapshot of the action…

Snob (dressed in Barbour): “Just fuck off home.”

Yobs (sporting Grim Reaper masks): “Scum, scum, scum.”

Snob (wearing fedora): “Kiss my arse.”

Yobs (waving placards): “You won’t be here next year.”

And so it goes on, until Old Mr Anorak is wheeled out of the oxygen tent to decide on a winner, who is duly presented with the Anorak Cup.

Tradition dictates that the trophy be filled with the blood of whatever mammal is to hand and, depending on which side wins, either drunk (snobs) or hurled over the losers (yobs).

Both sides then shake hands, slap each other on the back and wish each other more good sport in the coming 12 months…’

Posted: 15th, February 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink