Anorak News | And Pigs Might Fly

And Pigs Might Fly

by | 16th, February 2005

‘IF Charles becomes King and duly assumes the role of Defender of the Faith, he could be accused to asking people to do as he says and not as he does.

”I was kidnapped… The bigger boys made me do it… I wanted to get in the mind of a speeding motorist…”

In such a way he would not be unlike one David Coleman, the chief constable of Derbyshire police force, whom the Mail dubs the “97mph police chief”.

The man who has called speeding drivers a menace to society and has campaigned for more and more speed cameras has been spotted moving at some pace along the M1 on a journey from London to Chesterfield.

Only it wasn’t him. Really it was not. You see, Coleman was only a passenger in the car his chauffeur was driving with such reckless abandon.

The Sun reveals the driver to be one Kenneth Campbell, who, when his case came before magistrates in Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire, declined to show up.

Instead, this menace admitted his offence by letter and was fined £300 and awarded four penalty points.

And Coleman believes that this was right and proper.

As he tells the Sun: “This was a Derbyshire Constabulary vehicle driven by a Derbyshire Constabulary driver and it should not have been exceeding the speed limit.”

Quite so. But why did our knight of the road not notice the offence as he whizzed past other vehicles? Was he made speechless with fear?

“I have no intention of offering any of the many lame excuses for speeding that have been offered to me by numerous members of the public over many years,” says the good man and true.

So he thinks up a new one. He says he never encouraged the driver to exceed the speed limit – and neither did he dissuade him.

And that “at the time I had personally been on duty for 17 hours”.

Which to us sounds like a pretty decent stab at a lame excuse.

But if you think you can do better than that, send us your efforts.

We’ll make sure they are delivered to Old Mr Anorak’s chauffeur in time for his annual tour of the Peak District later this month…’

Posted: 16th, February 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink