Anorak News | Carry On Matron

Carry On Matron

by | 16th, February 2005

‘YOU can tell when a General Election is in the offing when one (or all) of the parties proposes one (or all) of the following policies.

The MRSA didn’t stand a chance

A) Bringing back matron; B) Bringing back the 11+; C) Bringing back hanging; D) Bringing back Lady Thatcher.

And so we learn from the front page of the Telegraph that an election is indeed imminent as the Tory party unveils its answer to whatever problems may exist in the National Health Service – bringing back matron.

The paper says the plan is part of a concerted drive to combat the spread of the hospital-acquired bug MRSA, which Tory leader Michael Howard claims kills more people each year than road accidents.

Accordingly, this new breed of Tory matrons would have the power to overrule hospital managers and order the closure of dirty wards and operating theatres.

But hang on a minute, you say, haven’t we heard all this before?

Of course, dear reader. For it was only a few short months ago that – to great fanfare – the Labour party promised to sort out the NHS…by introducing supermatrons.

And immediately you can see the difference between the two parties.

Where the Tories hark back to a golden age when hospital wards were ruled by a Hattie Jacques-type figure, Labour look forward to a golden age when hospital wards are ruled by a Hattie Jacques-type figure.

Nowhere better is this encapsulated than in Labour’s election slogan, “Britain Forward Not Back” – as unpunctuated as it is ungrammatical.

Time to bring back grammar schools..?’

Posted: 16th, February 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink