Low And Behold

‘IT’S hard to know what to make of Ryan Amoo, Jade Goody’s new boyfriend.

Implants are not toys

Our classical education edges us towards conjugating him like a verb – amoo, amass, amatt etc.

But our playground sense of humour encourages an altogether less loving element to his interesting moniker, and its inspiration is the bovine form of his girlfriend.

We know Jade has had her knockers – and very large and fulsome her new ones are, too – but surely even she must have realised that going out with a man whose surname sounds like a lowing cow is fraught with danger.

If this love goes anywhere other than the bedroom, then this man could make her Mrs Jade Amoo.

This is so absurd that we could not make it up – we could not, as the saying goes, pull the udder one.

And do not doubt that love is very much in the air as the former Big Brother housemate cosies up to the Northampton Town footballer she met at Trap nightclub.

And they do seem to be a perfect match, as Jade explains.

“He’s quite funny and has a good personality,” says she. “There’s a lot of banter going on between us… even if Ryan is a bit thick. The other day he asked me if an Eskimo was animal!”

Duh! Even Jade could have told him that it’s a bird native to parts of East Angular, which as she knows is near the city of Birmingham’s coastline and south of Portugal, which is in Spain.

But he shouldn’t care. If Ryan’s truly like Jade, he’ll have a skin as thick as a rhino – or, for that matter, a cow…’

Posted: 16th, February 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink