Anorak News | Organic Boob Jobs

Organic Boob Jobs

by | 18th, February 2005

‘SUCH is the level of silicone in Jordan’s body, it is estimated that it would take in excess of 1,000 years for her corpse fully to decompose.

Grow bags

Indeed, the generously-chested model could be the first human being to have what scientists call a half-life.

Never mind yesterday’s story of Sellafield losing 30kg of plutonium, the real threat to this country comes from the vast amounts of silicone that will soon be buried just six feet below ground (or, in the case of Jordan, about two inches if she’s lying on her back).

So, we are cheered to read in this morning’s Independent that in future women will be able to grow their own organic breast implants.

Scientists in Chicago think that they will soon be able to grow skin and tissue from bone marrow cells.

Professor Jeremy Mao explains: “What we foresee is that, say, Jennifer Smith is unfortunate enough to have breast cancer and needs breast reconstruction, you can take adipose stem cells from her and do the same procedure.

“You would mould them into the shape of the other normal breast or the missing portion of the breast and, instead of implanting silicone or saline structures, we would use the stem cell-derived adipose implant.”

And if, say, Katie Price wanted yet bigger boobs, we would mould them into the shape of Neptune…’

Posted: 18th, February 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink