Anorak News | Cruz Control

Cruz Control

by | 28th, February 2005

‘“I CAN’T tell you how happy I am to be pregnant,” says Jordan in her column in the Sun.


But whether it’s nurturing a small acorn or stuffing something small and wriggly into her mouth in a Bushtucker Challenge, the game mo-del will give it a try.

So what follows her opening line is not only a page about how you can rhyme the name Cruz with Loos, how pregnancy has made her psychic and how she feels sorry for Kerry McPadding, but a passage about her pregnancy as well.

“One of the good things about being pregnant, of course,” says Jordan, “is that my boobs are bursting out all over. I’m already up to a 34EE from my normal 32EE.”

While readers realise that what is normal for one person may appear freakish to everyone else, we look for more titbits on her pregnancy.

But there are slim pickings to be had, so it’s over to the Express, which has given over two pages to “WHO WOULD HAVE BELIEVED IT?” – the story of Jordan and Peter Andre’s embryonic DIY bust enlargement kit.

While each of Katie Price’s Jordans grows to be bigger than her pop singer boyfriend in platform shoes, we wonder who was really responsible for this development.

Sure, Andre donated the acorn, but why now? And while we’re on that, why has Nancy Dell’Olio just told the Express that she too is ready to have children.

“I think that now is the time, more than when I was younger,” says Sven Goran Eriksson’s on–off-on-off-on-off-on (continue ad infinitum) lover.

“I’m more prepared. I am sure that I will be a good mother.”

Could it be that Nancy, like Jordan, has been inspired to procreate by the latest Beckham arrival?

However, these girls should note that, according to Day-vid’s sister Joanne, a baby is not always good news. For starters, there’s the name Cruz, which Joanne finds “ridiculous”.

And then there is the timing of the birth. Joanne tells us that “it wasn’t the right time to have Cruz”.

“They [Day-vid and Posh] weren’t getting on very well last year and a baby wasn’t going to make the marriage better.”

Perhaps not. But it does make the marriage look better…’

Posted: 28th, February 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink