Anorak News | Vice Of An Angel

Vice Of An Angel

by | 28th, February 2005

‘CHARLOTTE Church has yet to become one of the Beckham baby boomers, but she has been rehearsing for that moment when her star falls and her body clock sounds the alarm.

The ‘it’ couple

And thanks to her former boyfriend, Kyle Johnson, we now know that Charlotte has been practising hard in every room of the flat she and Kyle once shared.

The Mirror reports that Charlotte and Kyle shagged every day and every night. “I was only her second,” says Kyle. “But she knew all the tricks, all right.”

And in case no-one has noticed, Kyle wants it on the record that Charlotte has “the most fantastic boobs” he’s ever seen and her “bum is better than Kylie Minogue’s”.

And so too is her right hook, which Charlotte is said to have shown Kyle when the two accidentally bumped into each other in a restaurant yesterday.

“CHURCH BRAWL,” shrieks the Mirror from its front page. “Angry Charlotte thumps kiss ‘n’ tell ex.”

“CHARLOTTE PUNCHES EX,” shouts the Sun on its esteemed cover. “Kyle walloped for selling sex secrets.”

“There was a hell of a commotion and then she punched him – it was a blinding right hook,” says an unnamed source present in the eatery.

We’ll have to take the witness’s word for that. And Kyle’s word that he and Charlotte did “it” in the shower…’

Posted: 28th, February 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink