Anorak News | A Fistful Of Oscars

A Fistful Of Oscars

by | 1st, March 2005

‘REMEMBER back in the day when the British were coming to Hollywood?

”OK, Clint, you can put them down now…”

Well, we came, settled down, working as nurses to the sick, as nannies to families that could afford them and as jobbing actors.

Jude Law, as the Mirror heard Chris Rock screech in is introduction to the Oscars, worked even harder as a Tom Cruise stand-in.

“Even the movies he’s not in, if you look at the credits he made cupcakes or something,” says Rock.

“He’s gay, he’s straight, he’s American, he’s British, next year he’ll be playing Kareem Abdul Jabbar.”

And so long as he poses in that soft dewy-eyed way he has made his own and parts his lips in the manner of a baby sparrow asleep in its nest, who are we to mind?

You go for it, Jude. Make Britain proud.

Well, so much for the British. What now for the latest group to take the beautiful people on in their own back yard – the old?

News is that Clint Eastwood, poster boy for the Sanatogen generation, can be seen in the Mail using his own hair and muscles to hold aloft not one but two dumbbell-sized Oscar statuettes.

And while Clint benchpresses his Best Film and Best Director Awards for the movie Million Dollar Baby, he manages not only to smile but also to speak unaided and without a script.

“Hollywood is a town that pursues youth,” says 74-year-old Clint. “But now we’re taking over. The oldies are here and you reach an age where nobody can go around telling you what to do.”

No, they simply tuck in your blanket, release the brake and push you around with barely a sensible word uttered.’

Posted: 1st, March 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink