Anorak News | Lion In Wait

Lion In Wait

by | 9th, March 2005

‘“FURIOUS soccer fans hit out last night when old football foes Germany revealed that they had pinched the hero who inspired England’s 1966 World Cup triumph,” reports the Star.

Germany Surrenders!

What’s this? The Germans have dug up the corpse of Sir Alf, and are planning to perform another live televised autopsy on his noble remains?

Not exactly. “HANS OFF OUR WILLIE,” demands the front-page headline, and this will be enough for older readers to put two and two together.

Yes, that’s right, the Germans have “copied” the “legendary lion mascot” and plan to use it as the logo for the World Cup, which they host next year.

Well, they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and it’s not hard to see why Willie, with his severe side-parted hair and toothbrush moustache, would appeal to our German friends.

But it turns out that all is not what it seems. “World Cup Willheim” (as the Star dubs him) bears little relation to the dapper little chap who won our hearts in ’66.

Where Willie’s chin was clean-shaven, Goleo VI (as the German version is known) has a horrible blond beard, and his lack of an accompanying moustache makes him even more unseemly.

Add to this his saggy orange trousers, and the overall look resembles one of those horrible hippies who smell of cheese and block the corridors on European trains with their backpacks and guitars.

Admittedly, Goleo wears a football shirt and soccer shoes, but even so, he is hardly the kind of role model that FIFA should be promoting to the world’s youth.

The paper concludes that the Germans problem is that they “can’t seem to look beyond 1966 when they were beaten in the final by a rampant England”.

Hear, hear. Germany’s mediocre World Cup record (champions a paltry three times, runners-up three times, and a few semis and quarters) means that they are forever harking back to the day they lost to the nation with which they are obsessed.

It’s high time they moved on, and left the lions where they belong – “rampant’ on the chests of our English footballing champions.’

Posted: 9th, March 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink