Anorak News | On Yer Bike

On Yer Bike

by | 17th, March 2005

‘GIVEN the fear of terrorist attack, it’s lucky Gordon Brown wasn’t stopped by the fuzz on his way to Parliament yesterday.

The people of Ipswich will never be afraid again

“What’s in the bag, sir?” the police would have asked the Chancellor?

“I can’t tell you that,” says he. “You’ll have to wait and see like everyone else.”

At that, the boys in blue would have leapt upon the man with the gulping mouth and detained him without trial.

The red box would then have been destroyed. The entire episode executed in a mere 45 minutes.

Of course, such a thing did not happen, nor would it ever – Brown is a loyal Briton and would never resort to terror tactics to get his own way.

But the courtesy afforded Mr Brown is not extended to us all, and the Telegraph tells the story of Heidi Brown’s scooter (no relation).

Ms Brown, a 22-year-old care-worker, left her £1,000 Taishan Sport scooter outside the offices of the DVLA in Ipswich.

A security guard said she could leave it there while her vehicle awaited inspection by DVLA officials.

But since it was unregistered, it had no number plates. And when staff noticed, they called the police.

On Monday, the police arrived on the scene. They suspected a bomb of some kind, and duly closed the surrounding roads and town centre for four hours.

Cue the Army, which carried out a “controlled explosion” on the bike.

Miss Brown takes up the story. “Since Monday,” says she, “all the paperwork has come through telling us that it is now okay to use the bike. But, obviously, we don’t have it any more.”

That’s hard luck on her. But now at least Ipswich is a safer place to be…

Paul Sorene is the Anorak’

Posted: 17th, March 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink