Anorak News | The British Crown Affair

The British Crown Affair

by | 22nd, March 2005

‘TODAY we learn that Camilla Parker Bowles will be something that Diana never was.

Camilla tries on the Royal solar panels

It’s unlikely she’ll never be considered one of the world’s most beautiful women, have her hairstyle copied by women across the globe and be pursued – and caught – by playboys, but she will be Queen.

It’s something the papers are certain of, as the Express and Mirror both lead with the bald truth: “CAMILLA WILL BE QUEEN.”

We know this because, as the Mirror says, MP Andrew Mackinlay raised the issue with Christopher Leslie, the Constitutional Affairs Minister.

And in doing so, Mackinlay has introduced the Mirror’s readership to the word “morganatic”.

In case any Mirror readers are struggling to understand the word, the paper helpfully tells them that it means “the wife not sharing her husband’s titles”.

And when MacKinlay asked Leslie is the marriage would be morganatic, he was given the answer “No”. Which left Mackinlay to conclude: “This is unequivocal…Camilla is Queen.”

Er, not quite. For that to happen Charles will have to succeed to the throne, and giving the longevity of his mother’s line (The Queen Mum was a sprightly 176 when her solar panels were finally tilted away from the sun), Camilla might have a long wait.

But at least when she marries her Charles we can confer his current titles on her revered head.

So please be upstanding for Camilla Jug Ears, Camilla Proper Charlie, Camilla Begonia Fancier, Camilla The Carbuncle…

Paul Sorene is the Anorak’

Posted: 22nd, March 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink