Anorak News | Oliver’s Army

Oliver’s Army

by | 22nd, March 2005

‘“IF you don’t eat yer meat, you can’t have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat yer meat?”

Jamie makes Tony and his team the perfect humbug

It’s a question that resonates within all of us who have been to school and been presented once a day with an amalgam of animal shavings, bulking agent and dinner lady sweat.

But today’s children can have their pudding all day, and often it’s undistinguishable from the meat – both being full of sugar and additives and dispensed from a squeezable tube.

But thanks to Jamie Oliver, it’s all set to change. Under the Oliver eating regime, tongue will be tongue and children will be fed up on food packed with nutrition and goodness.

As the Sun says, armed with an asparagus spear, Jamie Oliver’s “war on junkfood” is set to “revolutionise” the way our children eat.

Sure, the nippers will still chew food with their mouths open, spay it round the room and moan about it tasting “funny”, but it will be doing them the power of good.

And, as with anything that seems popular with the great uneducated, the Government have joined the fight.

The Mirror says that Education Secretary Ruth Kelly has “pledged” to invest money in training up dinner ladies and giving them new kitchens and catering equipment to prepare delicious grub.


But the Sun wants parents to do their bit, too. And while Gladys and her fellow food murderers in the school kitchens work out which end of a carrot is up with the help of a Government pamphlet, the Sun produces a range of “cut-out-and-keep menus”.

And very handy they are. For now when mum asks junior what he had to eat at school, he can consult his crib sheet, enthuse about his small pot of hummus (Monday) and cheese cubes (Wednesday) and then tuck into his treat of ten packets of crisps and a fat bastard-sized chocolate sausage bar…

Paul Sorene is the Anorak’

Posted: 22nd, March 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink