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Home From Home

by | 30th, March 2005

‘DOES the Queen know? If not, is not telling her tantamount to treason? Will she have to off the heads of the Prince and Princess Michael of Kent?

”Not hungry. Not homeless. Please give generously”

Sincerely, we hope not. It is dreadful to think of the blonde tresses of the good lady bouncing along the cobbles at the Bloody Tower to much popular cheering.

In any case, the Queen’s powers are limited, and these days she’s not even allowed to tune into Kirsty’s Home Videos without first putting her request in a formal letter to Parliament.

Surely, though, she can kick the couple out of the seven-bedroom apartment in Kensington Palace she pays the £120,000-a-year rent on?

We can’t be sure, but if the Queen is anything like us, she will be angered by the story in Hello! magazine. We thought the Kents had nowhere else to lay their crowns and were in dire need of charity, but it turns out they own a pile in the country.

We are struck dumb by the couple’s brazenness in employing Hello! like some upmarket property firm to help flog this other home, a 20—acre estate in Bisley, Gloucestershire, for a fee of around £10million.

Marvel at the estate’s late-17th century grandeur, the magnificent William and Mary staircase and how most of the main rooms are wainscoted in no-expense-spared oak, beach and chestnut.

For good measure, it’s even got a name. It’s not called Dunfreeloadin’ or Stulag von Reibnitz, but Nether Lypiatt.

What the words mean, we cannot say – but it could spell the end of the Kents…’

Posted: 30th, March 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink