Anorak News | Red-Eyed Sonia

Red-Eyed Sonia

by | 30th, March 2005

‘SONIA and Martin have been happy for a couple of weeks now so, of course, it’s time for the Walford witch to wave her magic misery wand. Sonia has discovered that her daughter Chloe’s adoptive parents have (conveniently) died in a car crash.

”With your acting ability and my looks, Chloe could be in Emmerdale on day”

Sonia snuck along to their funeral and saw her daughter for the first time in two years since the time she tried to kidnap her.

Understandably, Martin’s worried. “If you can’t support me on this then what future do we have?” sobbed Sonia as Martin tried banning her from visiting Chloe again.

Sonia is pretending to Chloe’s adopted grandmother that she’s an old family friend in order to gain access to her daughter. “I just can’t see what good it’s doing,” muttered Martin accurately summing up this latest feeble plot effort by scriptwriters.

We’ve already sat through one attempt at Sonia trying to be reunited with her daughter two years ago, do we really need to go through another?

There are some flickering signs of a pulse in Walford though this week as Stacey proves she’s a worthy successor to Janine as she lunges as Rosie Miller in the pub in classic World Wrestling Federation style.

Rosie has just discovered via Johnny’s daughter Ruby that it was Stacy who grassed them up to the Social Services. Rather than apologise though, Stacy launched into a tirade against dole frauds in a manner any Conservative Parliamentary Candidate would have been proud of.

Stacy’s days of causing havoc in the Square may be over though as Charlie Slater has just discovered that Stacy is actually only 15 not 17 and should, therefore, still be at school. Counting never was Charlie’s strong point – just look at the number of pies he manages to get through on a daily basis.

Gangster Johnny has brought two new ladies into Walford: his troubled teenaged daughter Ruby and his mistress, Tina. It transpires that Johnny lost his wife and other daughter Scarlet (who he’s named his new club after) in a house fire – obviously as a new resident to Walford he’s going to have suffered some sort of hideous tragedy in his life.

Remaining daughter Ruby has run away from boarding school to join her dear old dad in Albert Square – a decision she’s going to quickly come to regret when she realises that she’s walked straight into the Valley of Death.

Johnny has reluctantly agreed to let her stay, a decision that girlfriend Tina is less than happy about. “I fort this was a fresh start for us,” Tina pouted after Johnny made her promise not to tell Ruby that the pair had been seeing each other years before her mother died. “Wot am I supposed to do stuck in this grotty flat?” she asked. You could always try taking acting lessons love.

Little Mo and Alfie’s much touted affair is taking longer to ignite than a damp firework, despite the columns of tabloid newsprint it’s generated.

The reluctant couple have gone as far as having lunch in an empty pizza restaurant together before Little Mo leaves to visit her sister Lynn. “We get on so well, don’t we?” laboured Mo, desperately trying to breath some life into this unlikely storyline.

Kat’s back from real-life maternity leave in a couple of weeks so fingers crossed the orange beach ball will come bouncing back to cause some much-needed chaos.’

Posted: 30th, March 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink