Anorak News | Father Of The House

Father Of The House

by | 4th, April 2005

‘LOOKING at the Independent’s list of leading contenders for the now vacant position of Pope, we see no mention of one Tony Blair, Bishop of Downing Street.

Howard thinks he knows where the bugging device is hidden

Of course, to make Tony leader, the Roman Catholic Church would have to break more rules than the universally lamented John Paul II did.

But while he misses out on one poll, the Telegraph reports that Tony will not miss out on another.

While the Guardian leads with news that, in light of the Pope’s death, Blair has deferred his plans to call a general election until tomorrow, the Telegraph says that the time and date matter not, because Tony will still win.

The three-figure majority may be a thing of the past, but if the YouGov online poll is correct, Blair will secure a third term as Prime Minister with an overall Labour majority of 85 to 100 seats.

The Telegraph would like us all to look at the Government’s current majority of 161 seats, see the new estimate and smell a Tory revival.

But though the Labour lead looks set to be reduced, we are no closer to a Conservative government than we are to Howard Flight being the party’s next leader.

And this is chiefly because we don’t like Michael Howard, who, as the Times tells us, is a “nasty, ill-tempered opportunist prone to paranoic panic”.

The article (“Leaders put popularity to the ultimate test”) says that this election will be fought over the character and judgement of each party leader.

So, while Howard throws his table tennis bat to the ground in a fit of pique and casts around for moles inside his camp – “the “Tories have complained of a man outside their HQ on crutches” and a “blind German spy” – the Times takes a look at the other main contenders.

And we learn that Tony Blair is “all talk and no action” and someone called Charles Kennedy is a “weak and second-rate politician who should be ignored”.

It appears our would-be leaders possess a heady mix of paranoia, vanity and spinelessness. Which means that we, unlike the Pope, haven’t got a prayer…’

Posted: 4th, April 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink