Anorak News | Tara In Royal Cover-Up

Tara In Royal Cover-Up

by | 6th, April 2005

‘“ROYAL BOOB BAN,” announces the Star. “No t*ts at the wedding – apart from the groom.”

”I do”

That’s tits, of course, not tots. And the tits in question belong to Zara Phillips and Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, who “have been told to keep their Crown jewels covered for Charles and Camilla’s big day”.

Does this mean that other guests will be attending as nature intended? Sadly not. It’s simply a precaution in case Princess Anne’s daughter and the “sexy socialite” decide to wear anything too revealing.

Tara is rumoured to be planning “something outrageous” after “talks with a trendy fashion designer”. (Whether Prince Harry is planning to wear something outrageous – a Cambridge Rapist mask, say, or a White Power T-shirt – is as yet unclear.)

Anyway, everything is being done to make sure that the wedding goes ahead smoothly now that it has been hastily rearranged for Saturday.

Not that the rearrangement has suited everyone. The paper says that the new date has cocked up the BBC’s coverage of the Grand National, and the race itself has now been moved back 25 minutes.

A Sunday wedding was obviously out of the question as it would have meant clashing with Crystal Palace’s eagerly awaited trip to Everton.

And that would never do…

Ed Barrett’

Posted: 6th, April 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink