Anorak News | Souvenir Speial

Souvenir Speial

by | 8th, April 2005

‘BEFORE you raid your Andy & Fergie piggy bank, note that you can save yourself a small fortune with Paul Sorene’s Ye Olde Royale Conversione Kitte.

A tea towel for two

This kit contains a pouch of grey pencils, a full pack of 20 stick-on ciggies and a set of woolly fright wigs.

A simple peel here and a drawn line there, and quicker than you can say, “He’s got some nerve” your Princess Di mugs and bumper stickers are transformed to show your support for wife No.2, the lovely Camilla.

And don’t worry about looking cheap, because the happy couple have set the tone by deciding to marry in the Guildhall on Windsor’s High Street (left at the pub, past the McDonald’s and follow the horses).

But not everyone is like Charles, and some of you like new, shiny, attractive things to invite into your homes.

So here are a few idea of what you can expect to see on sale on a market stall near you soon.

CAMILLA NOSE BAG – Let your horse, pony or understanding lover dine like a royal with his stylish commemorative nosebag. Free harness and reins if you order before midnight tonight!

QUEEN AND PHILIP MUG – A delightful ceramic pot with the legend “I’m not going either” embossed on one side in rich royal blue above a frowning Queen and Duke

CAMILLA RINGTONE – At the press of a button a loud “bray” followed by a deep “whinny” reassures your loved one that you’re not cheating on them with an old flame, but enjoying a day at the races or playing polo

DENTURES – Relive the passion that rocked the monarchy with a set of his ‘n’ hers Charles and Camilla dentures. Lip-locking fun

“MY OTHER CAR’S A BATTERED WHITE FIAT UNO” bumper sticker bearing the face of a purposeful looking Camilla seated side-saddle behind a steering wheel. Available in French and English

CHARLES & CAMILLA MUG – Pewter mug with the message “Well they had me for a mug” scrawled on the side in brilliant green ink

DIASSAPEARING INK – Sign your marriage certificate in this blueblood-coloured ink and – behold! – after one day it miraculously disappears and the vows are rendered void. Ideal for asylum seekers, con artists and princes alike

JIGSAW – The picture on the box promises a Charles and Diana jigsaw but there’s one piece missing

MAGIC EYE POSTER – From afar it looks like any old picture of Charles and Diana, but stare as it closer, and closer still, and – lo and behold! – it magically transforms into a picture of Camilla chasing a fox

More in our brochure…

Paul Sorene is the Anorak’

Posted: 8th, April 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink