Anorak News | Taking The Low Road

Taking The Low Road

by | 20th, May 2005

‘THE message to today’s children is to not accept sweets from strangers; and if you are given any, to report the donor to your local celebrity chef for re-education and hand over your bonbons at a sweets amnesty collection point.

Hamish was told time and time again not to eat his iPod

The food police are everywhere, warning children of the perils of catching obesity if they eat so much as a fat bogey.

But now a new twist, as the Times says how schools in Glasgow are rewarding pupils who choose healthy school dinners with iPods, MP3 players and Xbox games consoles.

At school dining halls in 29 of the city’s secondary schools, now hideously known as “Fuel Zones”, the skool kidz (see, we can be as kool as the next marketing man) accumulate points for each healthy food item they opt for.

For instance, a plate of salad (15 points), some pasta (15) and a bottle of water (15) are winners. While a can of Irn Bru (nil points), chips (nil) and a beef burger (3), will see little Jordan get her iPod (4,000 points) around your fortieth birthday.

Of course, the simpler move would be to stop offering the children chips, burgers and canned gut rot in the first place.

But, as the Telegraph reminds us, this is Glasgow, the city that gave the world the deep fried Mars bar (nil points).

And it’s time for the one in seven 11-year-olds living in Glasgow who are obese to get with the programme.

The choice, as the Telegraph says, is simple: you can earn 4,000 points by eating 267 bananas or 1,000 burgers. So get with it.

As they say in Glasgow: “Geesa the ketchup, fatso…”’

Posted: 20th, May 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink