Anorak News | Teenage Kicks

Teenage Kicks

by | 23rd, May 2005

‘“LIKE most little girls, I knew the names of my children and of course their sexes!” says Jools Oliver in the Mail.

Daisy Boo’s ‘tummy ache’ was a cause for concern

The wife of the TV chef is now ploughing a furrow as a professional celebrity mum, trumpeting motherhood in a “heartwarming, hilarious and cringingly honest” way in the paper that matters.

But before we get into how Jamie likes to scatter fresh green leaves over his wife’s belly and slow roast her for an hour or more, here are three little girls to back up Jools’ insight into the pubescent female mind, all members of the Williams family, and all pregnant by their 16th birthdays.

The Sun announces the trio and their brood as the “KID SISTERS” on its front page, and explains that Jemma was a mum at 12, Jade at 14 and Natasha at 16.

While most siblings crave another’s toy, the Williams’ girls wanted so much more. And do not doubt that a baby is not a toy. It is an accessory.

All three mothers and their matching accoutrements pop up in the Mail and the Mirror, pleased as punch to pose for the cameras with Lita, T-Jay and Amani in arms.

The three girls are keen to spout forth in the manner of so many Jools Olivers about their births and how babies are just soo amay-zing.

But this is, in truth, a story that can be surmised and fully understood in headline form. As the Mirror succinctly puts it: “These three sisters all had babies in their teens. Each year they get benefits of £31,000. So who does their mum blame? ..THEIR SCHOOL.”

The girls’ mum, Julie, says she’s sick and tired of people looking down their noses at her girls and their brood, and insists that if sex education was taught in schools at an early age, her girls would not have fallen pregnant so young.

And what’s more, they would have aced the practical section of the class, perhaps even delivering a real baby in an insightful and committed coursework finale.

Meanwhile, middle class Jools is teaching us that “trying for a baby is brilliant fun”, and when she married she hoped that doing all “the text book things” would get her knocked up in record time.

What text book Jools uses she does not say. But we recommend she reveals all pronto, lest her little Daisy Boo and Poppy Honey get to write about their experiences of pregnancy and childbirth sooner than Jools had hoped…’

Posted: 23rd, May 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink