Anorak News | The Bump Kin

The Bump Kin

by | 27th, May 2005

‘IT’S been a while since Jordan saw her feet, but we can exclusively reveal that the protuberance making each of her steps a dice with death is a boy.

”They’re pink, like your shoes”

At least it will be in around two months time, when the woman with the bulges in all the right pales, some in the wrong places and others in places you’d be hard pressed to find with a compass, delivers her latest gift to the world.

Before that though, it’s time for Jordan, her little love and her unborn baby to hotfoot it along to sunny Tenerife for her last holiday before the big birth.

Katie is keen to talk about the pregnancy, telling us how in readiness she’s redone her wardrobe, Harvey’s wardrobe and her spare room.

Ah, there’s the voice of experienced motherhood. If there’s one thing a newborn baby craves, nay demands in a shrill piercing blood-chilling scream in the dead of night, it is an ordered dressing area, with lined shelves, shirts on hangers and jumpers folded around crinkly sheets of crepe paper.

Meanwhile, Peter Andre is musing about how his life has been turned around. “It’s so bizarre that within 18 months I’ve got engaged, I’m having a baby and getting married,” says he. “That’s a lot to happen in such a short space of time.”

It is indeed short, but from little things, like acorns, mighty oaks do grow. And OK! wants to know if Katie is going to have “a whopping-sized baby”.

It’s delicate question, and one that Katie is not shy about answering. “I’m absolutely massive,” says she, “and really uncomfortable.”

Well, she will insist on allowing Peter to cut the umbilical cord when the baby arrives, and to allow her mum into the room with them through the ordeal of a natural childbirth. Who wouldn’t feel uncomfortable with that lot?

But if Katie thinks that’s bad, just wait until she’s got ten pounds of excess weight hanging off her chest.

But on second thoughts, what with Pete and her airbags…’

Posted: 27th, May 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink