Anorak News | On A Promise

On A Promise

by | 2nd, June 2005

‘HAVING already made the mistake of thinking Abi Titmuss a slapper, the world is now reeling with the news that neither is Big Brother’s Lesley.

Lesley as Abi Titmuss

Readers of the Sun can see Lesley for themselves, as she sits in a pool of water rubbing her nipples.

The rest of us will have to make do with the words of plumber Mark Hallas, who once dated the demure lass.

“She has been portrayed as a man-hungry slapper but she always said she would not have sex in the first year – and we split up before that,” explains Mark.

This is big news, not least of all for the producers of Big Brother, who even in their wildest fantasies cannot hope to eke the show out from its usual ten-week stint to a full calendar year, even if it is for the promise of a live shag.

And it’s just as big a shock to Tom Birkinshaw, who claims that rather then being a demure virgin – “she was a virgin when I met her and a virgin when our relationship finished,” says Hallas – Lesley was “rampant”.

“She’d do anything. She was really dirty,” says Birkinshaw, who says that the girl who bounced onto our screens dressed as a naughty nurse used to do sexual favours for the lads.

It’s all too confusing. And it gets more so when Lesley last night opened up a can of worms when she immersed her bikini-clad body into the Big Brother pool.

“Do you think my nipples are too big?” Lesley asked housemates Max and Anthony. “Do you think my tits look saggy for my age?”

What the boys said is not revealed. Leaving poor misunderstood Lesley in a state of confusion, to wrestle with her inner slapper, and her bra top…’

Posted: 2nd, June 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink