Anorak News | Spice World

Spice World

by | 3rd, June 2005

‘WILL it be “Yes” or will it be “No”? It’s not yet been put to a public vote, and the decision on the biggest news of last week has yet to be made. And we ask it again: will the Spice Girls perform at Live Aid II?

‘There’s no need to be afraid…’

On Monday, the Mirror was unfurling its union Jack dress and screaming “Non!”

The Mirror had spoken to someone or other at the BBC, which is to broadcast the show on July 2, and they had apparently told the paper, who told the world, that “with all due respect to them [Spice Girls], Live 8 isn’t Party in the Park”.

So what is it then? “It’s a political rally to out pressure on world leaders and their kind of pop act didn’t seem right for this kind of event.” They were, to use the Mirror’s words, “plastic pop”.

How so? Come on. Would a selfish non-politicised band consider singing, “If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give”? And as for Girl Power and the championing of a woman’s right to vote and flash her knickers, well…

And we wonder how if the selfless Spices are not allowed in, why the likes of Robbie Williams singing a version of We Will Rock You and Oasis doing for the Who’s My Generation what they have previously done for the Beatles oeuvre are.

While we all have a rethink – and slowly come to realise that Destiny’s Child, who will be playing, are something other than a manufactured trio, and how being bootylicious is not a chance to brag about your big arse but a biting satire on world hunger – we wonder if Geldof has got it wrong.

On Tuesday, he was fessing up. “I spoke to them [Spices] this morning and it’s looking good that they will be there.” Saint Bob went on: “There’s a lot of stuff they have got to sort through…There are only two people in a marriage, remember – but five in a band.”

Unless, of course, the Girls are in a polygamous marriage, which opens up an altogether different debate, and makes us wonder which one, if any, is the man of the outfit. (Answers on a shell suit to the usual address.)

By Friday, the debate had turned into a cause, and, as with every worthy mission to save, there was Coldplay’s Chris Martin happy to offer a few bon mots on what’s what.

Martin, who is fast turning into pop’s Mr Rent-A-Quote, said in the Sun how he hopes the Spices will play because they were a “phenomenon”. “They should get back together and do it.”

No, not that ‘it’, Rod Stewart. Oooer, too late! He’s only gone and done it. And on Thursday, we turned greener than a Crazy Frog bogey to the news that Rodders has gone and got his Penny in the club.

And what a club it is – none too exclusive and open to any of Rod’s six born children, two former wives and now his latest leggy squeeze, dear Penny Lancaster.

Which made us all wonder: if Rod can still do it at 60, how long before those young and frisky Big Brother housemates get it on?

And threaten not to stop until Ginger, Posh, Scary, Baby and the other one resume their rightful place as spokespeople for the planet’s hopeless multitudes…

Paul Sorene is the Anorak’

Posted: 3rd, June 2005 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink