Anorak News | The Show Bomber

The Show Bomber

by | 7th, June 2005

‘WE dread to think what Russell Crowe would do should he ever audition for the role of Osama bin Laden in any biopic of the bearded lunatic.

Kamal is safer where he is

But while we ponder that chilling prospect, the Star alerts us to another threat, announcing on its front page: “BIG BRUV BOMB PLOT.”

News is that someone has been sending hate mail containing death threats to one of the contestants on the Big Brother show.

But before you can say “Only one?”, know that this is a serous business. And the situation has got security guards jittery.

Just yesterday, the forces standing between 12 preening, prancing human goldfish and destruction were confronted with a “suspicious package”.

No, not the contents of Derek’s shorts, but an even more terrifying looking package, one bad enough to spark a “massive security operation”.

Police were called. Specialist teams X-rayed the parcel and found that it contained no explosives, rather a pair of stiletto shoes sent in by some fetishist keen to see the show’s cross-dressing Kamal in them.

This gives the Star the chance to create the headline “THE SHOE BOMBER” – while we worry about what the faceless voice that punctuates the show really means when he says: “Who stays and who goes? You decide…”’

Posted: 7th, June 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink