Anorak News | Babbling Brook

Babbling Brook

by | 10th, June 2005

‘JUST looking at Kelly Brook – whether in her bra, her knickers or her bikini – brings to mind one word: coy.

Creating a new breed of celebrity

A few of you might know that Kelly is appearing on ITV in the genetic experiment called Celebrity Love Island, the show where viewers at home get to match up celebs, in a strict boy-girl fashion, to see if they will breed and so set the evolution of human kind back many, many generations.

To date, the show has been a flop in bed, and none of the guinea pigs have responded well to being hot-housed and gawped at.

If things don’t change, very soon a team of biologists will arrive to take an egg from here, a sperm from there, a scraping from Abi Titmuss’s sheets and bypass nature entirely.

But there is Kelly. There is always Kelly. And helping her through the rigours of speaking in English to a fixed camera is her man, Billy Zane.

Billy has jetted out to Fiji to be with his beloved. And that means they are sharing a hotel room. No cameras. No pressure. No inhibitions.

But, as we say, Kelly is coy, and if OK! did want to question her on she and Billy’s mating rituals, they are soon put off by her innate coyness.

“Will you and Billy get married some day?” asks OK!. “I don’t know,” says Kelly, “I really don’t.”

Neither does she want to guess. Nor will she take the bait and explain how she came to be seen with a big diamond on her wedding finger.

“I’m sure they did,” says Kelly, “but you know, I’m just a lucky girl [laughs].”

OK! tries a new tack. “What makes your relationship so special?” it asks. “I think it’s a lot of things,” says Kelly. And they are… Private. Kelly just won’t say.

And at this juncture, we must stop. OK! plods on, trying to get Kelly to say anything that could be construed as interesting.

But for us, enough is enough. And if the woman who fronts a show in which barely-dressed wannabes are invited to shag each other on screen wants to be demure, then so be it.

It’s only fair…’

Posted: 10th, June 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink