Anorak News | School’s In…Forever

School’s In…Forever

by | 14th, June 2005

‘HAS it occurred to you that you’re tired all the time because you’re soft?

”Are you my mum?”

It’s not the fault of a brutal, globalised economy, your hideous boss or the gruelling journey to work, but a product of your whining, pampered self that craves “quality time” and “holidays”.

Mindful of this the Government has come up with a plan to do something before it’s too late and the next generation of supermarket shelf stackers is as weak and workshy as this one.

As the Telegraph reports, children are going to be offered a 10-hours school day. This will make them better able to compete in tomorrow’s job market, where working all day every day until you can claim you pension at 80 years of age will be required.

The extra hours, dubbed “Kelly hours” after Ruth Kelly, the charisma-free Education Secretary, will enable parents to leave their offspring in safe environments all day while they work.

What’s more, mum and dad will no longer need any holiday time at all, because the new plan means schools will stay open all year round.

But this plan is not only about preparing children for an adult life sat in an office, but aims to end the culture of “latchkey kids”, where children return to an empty home while their parents are at work.

“It’s what works for families and what works for children,” says Kelly in the Times. “If a mother works for two days a week, she wants to know her child will be safe while she is at work.” To Kelly’s mind this is “common sense”.

And surely it is. And when junior leaves school and is working in a call centre twelve hours a day, he’ll thank Kelly for it…’

Posted: 14th, June 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink