Anorak News | Private Dick

Private Dick

by | 16th, June 2005

‘YESTERDAY we heard from professional Michael Jackson case juror No.1.

Jackson tries on the OJ Simpson glove for size

Today it’s the turn of another of the 12 good men and women true to tell us about the day they delivered justice to the world.

Step forward, raise your hand and repeat “Jacko dad stared at me in deli” Pauline Coccoz, a blonde 46-year-old delicatessen worker.

The story goes that two weeks before the trial ended, Pauline was at work. A customer approached. She looked up, and her eyes were met with a “beady” gaze.

The man with the eyes like lifeless buttons was none other than Joe Jackson, father of Michael, who was shopping in the store with his wife, Katherine.

For a moment, Pauline thought they’d come to menace her. “Without the counter between me and the Jacksons I would have found it intimidating,” says she.

“Joe’s stare was only for about 20 seconds, but it was the longest 20 seconds of my life.”

It must have been awful to be presented with such an anecdote. But, having committed to memory every minute detail of the confrontation, Pauline regained her composure and set about fulfilling the Jackson order of baloney, which she sliced.

For readers not well-versed in the American diet, the Sun says that baloney is a revolting pink “sausage-like” meat.

And is not to be confused with Michael Jackson’s manhood, which, as the Star tells us in its front-page story (“JACKO – GIVE ME MY WILLY BACK”), is “splotchy” and best not eaten, let alone sliced.

And it’s missing. No, not really missing as such. Jackson’s penis would no more come detached from the Jackson body as would his nose.

What are missing are pictures of the star’s member, which were taken by police as they gathered evidence for the court case against him.

Now Jackson wants them back, lest they fall into the wrong hands – or the baloney slicer…’

Posted: 16th, June 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink