Anorak News | Four Ball

Four Ball

by | 16th, June 2005

‘JUST over 1 year ago, that Saffer, Retief Goosen, earned himself the princely sum of $1,125,000.

His skill was being able to hit a small white vulcanized rubber ball into a hole using only a lump of metal at the end of a stick of metal in fewer goes than anyone else.

This year’s US Open golfing tournament kicks off at the Pinehurst II course in darkest North Carolina, a Little House on The Prairie region of the US of A where, no doubt, you can buy fizzing candy and chewing tabaccy from the cornershop and still get change from a nickel.

All pre-tournament talk has been about the Big 4 combatants.

In the red corner, we have world No.1 Vijay Singh, golfing out of Fiji, a man who is to charisma what Peter Aliss is to the anarchic Wombles.

A man who on being asked what it’s like to win the most important prize in the golfing calendar would presumably answer: “Nice.”

In the blue corner is the sultan of swing, Tiger Woods, golfing out of California, winner of the first of this year’s four Majors in April’s US Masters and hoping to complete a second Major win on his way to a possible grand slam.

In the Mauve corner is world No.3 Phil Mickleson, representing San Diego, who appears to have no discernable arse and an untelegenic pot-bell – no handicaps in golf, but worth preparing yourself and any watching children for.

In the leopard-skin corner is World No. 4, South Africa’s Ernie Els, a natural who could play great shots in his sleep – and often looks as though he is.

Such is this group’s domination of the sport, knowing bookmakers are offering just 6/5 that one of these gents will win the tournament – the same odds that any of the other 152 competitors will be victorious.

As for the Brits, well, let’s just hope that prize tint Ian Poulter, he of the attention seeking clothes and dragged-through-a-hedge hair-do, falls flat on his backside.

Jules Segal’

Posted: 16th, June 2005 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink