Anorak News | Sun Kissed

Sun Kissed

by | 20th, June 2005

‘OF course, anybody’s who’s anybody is not roasting under the burning British sun or surfing on a cow through flooded parts of Yorkshire: they are abroad.

‘Can you smell fish?’

And it’s the Sun’s duty to keep track of where the great and good are at play.

First up, it spots Charlotte Church. She’s flown 12,000 miles to be with her lover, ruby star Gavin Henson.

In New Zealand for just three days, Charlotte has travelled light, taking along the bare essentials: chocolate body balm, naughty lingerie and a bathtime love potion.

But it’s winter Down Under, which means we don’t get to see a single shot of Church in a bikini sporting her chocolate rub self-tan.

Which means that it’s time to jet off to the Caribbean, where Coleen McLoughlin is at play.

And unless our eyes deceive us, that’s not Wayne Rooney frolicking in the water with the Liverpool shopper. “Hmm…” ponders the Sun on its front page, “he’s better looking, but can he play football.”

But that’s no love rival for the “sunburnt” Roon – it’s a dolphin. Surely Coleen wouldn’t leave Wayne for a confused fish, even if the creature did give her a kiss.

But only a sicko wants to see Colleen kissing a dolphin. And, what’s more, that’s a Coleen whose body is under the water and covered by a life jacket. Nothing to see here, folks. It’s time to go.

And from one girl and her squeaky-voiced, playful, photogenic playmate, we now move to another, and catch up with Vicky Beckham and her Day-vid.

Seen wearing cowboy-style hats, his ‘n’ hers vests and matching sunglasses, Posh and Becks are spotted perfuming their double act in St Tropez, France.

But once more, there are no bikinis. Unless, of course, Dave’s wearing his wife’s under his trousers…’

Posted: 20th, June 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink