Anorak News | Pitt The Handsome

Pitt The Handsome

by | 20th, June 2005

‘“IT would be marvellous to have Brad Pitt as Leader of the Conservative Party,” opines Lord Saatchi, former chairman of the Tory party in a document entitled ‘If this is Conservatism, I am a Conservative’.

‘I’ll stand while I’m still able to’

It would indeed be grand. Apart from further cementing Anglo-US relations, Pitt the Handsome’s rise to political prominence would lead to no end of intrigue as to which lovely he was shagging.

But while Pitt checks his ancestry, calls Glenda Jackson for advice and stands on a ticket of free hair tinting for all in Hollywood, Hereford and Worcester, Saatchi tells us what to look for in the next Tory leader.

He wants Tory supporters to ask candidates to describe “a noble purpose” and then “look into his or her eyes”.

It’s all so deeply mystic. But however worthy Saatchi’s advice is, it’s foiled by Kenneth Clarke in the Times, who is pictured looking down and wearing a hat.

And we’re not yet sure if Clark will run for leadership again. “He is limbering up,” says a senior Conservative to the paper, “but he needs to know that enough of us will back him.”

Limbering up, or just trying to get the old limbs going?

But however appetising the thought of Clark stretching his legs in a blue spandex leotard is, the smart money if on David Davis becoming the party’s next head.

Davis is the current Shadow Home Secretary, a man now officially billed as the Tory party’s very own Brad Pitt…’

Posted: 20th, June 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink