Anorak News | Steaming Mad

Steaming Mad

by | 24th, June 2005

‘IN this helter-skelter, dog-eat-dog world we live in, we need to take time every now and then to pause, to take stock of our lives, to reflect.

Standing room only in carriage five

And helping us to take a step back is the rail network. Just yesterday, as the Telegraph reports, the 14:55 GNER train from Newcastle to King’s Cross came to an abrupt halt for two hours.

Nine further trains also suddenly stopped on the tracks, so affording between 5,000 and 10,000 passengers aboard the services a moment of respite from life’s trials.

Many would have stared out of the window, enjoying the countryside views of grass, trees and simple yeomen in orange bibs leaning on spades.

Others would have reflected on their own being and softly sobbed, gently rocking back to and fro as they reconnected spirit with body.

But others turned to violence, trying to prize open the doors, which are locked tight shut until an all-clear has been given.

These ne’er-do-wells, hot claustrophobics, if you will, then set about smashing the windows.

Surely, they can expect to receive court summons in the post from our fine rail operators, who risk failing to meet their targets in so selflessly allowing their passengers to take a time out.

What we would say to the passengers who fainted about the place and dared to pull to emergency cord – repeatedly! – is too strong for these pages.

But while these vandals get ready for their day in court, the Times sees fire crews and media types arrive at the 14:55 Newcastle-London mobile chill-out room.

There, as the Times says, firemen took people off the train, and the Times heard from the likes of Linda Prudhomme, an American, who says that she thought some of her fellow passengers were “going to die”.

And from Steven Perrin, who says that the carriage was “like a coffin”. “The windows and doors did not open.”

And from Simon Walker, a commuter, who tells us that the rail company gave out free drinks. “I’ve seen people walking around with bottles of champagne just to get some liquid in them,” says he.

And we say: shhhh! We haven’t spent the past decades telling the world how terrible our rail service is for the likes of one man to blow our cover now.

Sure, the trains give you a break, free snacks and champagne, but try not to tell everyone. We’re not sure there’s enough fizz to go round…’

Posted: 24th, June 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink