Anorak News | A Perfect Ten

A Perfect Ten

by | 27th, June 2005

‘DO you want the Sun’s “WORLD EXCLUSIVE” or the Mirror’s “REAL STORY” of Princess Diana and JFK Junior?

Diana’s top ten man

In one sweaty palm there’s the Sun, which has seen a copy of Simone Simmons’ new book, Diana: The Last Word, and today splashes the most astounding extract from it across its front page.

In the other hand is the Mirror, which has also seen the book and calls it “HOCUS POCUS FROM AN EVIL WITCH”.

And that’s not just the Mirror’s view, but the considered opinion of that upright, honest man of rare probity and trustworthiness, Paul Burrell.

“There was a time when people like Simone Simmons were hurled into the water, trussed up and weighed down with stones,” says Burrell by way of a history lesson.

Indeed, he is right. We’ve looked it up. And in other history books we’ve learnt of a time when a butler’s job was to be seen and not heard, a time when gay men were forced to live a lie and a time when anyone so much as suspected of stealing was deported to Australia.

But we digress. And while innocent Burrell gives us his inside take on just how awful Simmons is, how her “goodness has become rotten with the so-called revelation over JFK Jr”, the Sun squeezes the juicy bits of the story until the pips squeak.

To the Sun, Simmons is as close as any confidante ever was to Diana. The “energy healer” was an ally to Diana. If Burrell was her rock, Simmons was at least a brick the size of Gibraltar.

And her story makes for good reading. Simmons says that in a meeting with Diana, the princess brought along a picture of John Jr pulled from a newspaper.

The story goes that in 1995 Diana was in New York. John Jr was in town and came to call on Diana at her hotel room. One thing led to another and the pair succumbed to a moment of “pure lust”.

Wow indeed. But why does the Sun put so much stock in Simmons’ tale when the Mirror does not?

Might it be because Diana was a Sun reader at heart? Not only did Di, apparently, read newspapers for the pictures, but she ranked her lovers in the same way the Sun gives players scores after football matches and “Busty Beach Bum” contests. Diana gave John Jr a 10 out of 10. He was “the tops”. He was Di’s star man.

As such, is the Mirror’s spoiler born of jealousy? Could that aforesaid “EVIL WITCH” be less Simmons and more a reference to Rebekah Wade, the editor of Diana’s favourite paper?

But it’s all intrigue and suggestion. Until Diana’s newspaper delivery boy tells all in book form, we may never be certain. We await his literary marvel with frenzied excitement.

And the news that Diana and Kennedy are not dead but living together on the fabled Sixth Floor at Harvey Nichols…’

Posted: 27th, June 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink