Anorak News | Golden Showers

Golden Showers

by | 1st, July 2005

‘THE very moment Travis begin chanting their popular refrain “Why Does It Always Rain On Me?” at Live8, Tony Blair will flick the switch on his weather machine.

Better the devil you know

At once the heavens will open over the dusty African plains, the weather changing from scorching hot to wet and wonderful.

Back in London, the spray of liquid will sparkle like golden champagne. As the Express explains, alcohol has been banned from the Live8 compound for all but the members of the exclusive “gold circle” area.

Aside from the 5,000 corporate ticket holders and VIP guests, and Serpentine Shamus and members of his Hype Park drinking collective, no-one will be boozing in Hyde Park.

And before you start dismissing rumours about how Saint Bob plans to circumvent the ban hold by offering the 200,000-strong crowd each a swig from his purloined bottle of champers, know that the concert’s organiser is capable of the unexpected.

Just look at the Mail and consider its picture of Geldof coyly placing his head on Tony Blair’s shoulder in the manner of some lovesick groupie.

“Live Ego,” says the Mail as it watches Blair and Geldof cosy up for a duet on the MTV music channel.

The paper sees Tony seep into his “excruciatingly trendy mode” as he and his new best mate were asked questions about African poverty by a select group of what are routinely termed “young people”.

Sitting on an orange bench, showing of his Make Poverty History wristband, Tony spoke to some teens and fielded pre-recorded questions from Destiny’s Child and rap artiste Snoop, who asked him if it was President or Prime Minister Tony Blair.

We don’t get to hear Tony’s reply, nor his heart skip a beat.

And we don’t get to know the state of Tony’s suit jacket when Geldof lifted his famously unkempt head from it.

Indeed, we don’t get to know much. But thanks to the Sun we do learn an answer to the burning question of the day.

The paper has happened upon the running order for the big gig, and looking at it we can categorically state that no deal has been done – Tony and the Ugly Rumours will not be playing…’

Posted: 1st, July 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink